We've Moved!

The Kelowna Women's Shelter Blog
has officially been moved!

You can now find us directly on our website

https://kelownawomensshelter.ca/blog

See you there!

Embracing Hope

If one good thing came out of the recent presidential race in the United States, it is that more people are expressing disagreement, and even disgust, with what a certain male candidate called “locker room talk”.

It was refreshing to see large numbers of men, many of them professional athletes, speak out against the ridiculous assertion lewd and sexist comments are the norm in locker rooms, and should therefore be seen as acceptable.

Witnessing these men stand up and be counted on behalf of women everywhere gives me hope we are at a turning point, and might have a shot at ending the culturally-embedded misogyny and inequality that allow violence against women to continue.

Yet while I nurture renewed hope for a future free of abuse, the beds at Kelowna Women’s Shelter remain full.

Every night, women and their children seek refuge here, fleeing the men who were supposed to love them, and treat them with respect and kindness.

Every night, for 36 years, we’ve welcomed victims of intimate partner violence with open arms, providing food, clothing, shelter, counselling support and a shoulder to cry on.

Twenty-four hours a day, our staff are here to wipe their tears and provide the resources and support they need to move forward into a new life.

If not for the support of this community, we could not do what we do. 

Thanks to your support through donations and volunteer time, we are able to put food on the table, keep the lights and heat on, and change lives every single day.

On behalf of the clients, staff and board of directors, “Thank you!”

Karen Mason (Karen.mason@kelownawomensshelter.ca) is executive director of Kelowna Women’s Shelter.

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Christmas donations

We are so grateful for your donations all year long, and particularly struck by the additional generosity we tend to experience at this time of year.

In order to manage the volume, and maintain confidentiality and peace of mind for our clients, we do not accept donations at the Shelter. 

Please take contributions directly to our Thrift Store at 6-368 Industrial Avenue between 10 am and 2 pm on Mondays, Wednesdays and Saturdays.

If you label donations designated specifically for the Shelter, we’ll make sure they get to their destination.

Ladies 2-ball at Two Eagles

Tickets on sale for for another golf tournament at Two Eagles Golf Course in West Kelowna support of the Kelowna Women's Shelter.

The ladies 2-ball tournament will take place on Tuesday, September 20th-- 11 a.m. start.

Reserve a spot now for $190 a team ($95/ player). Official RCGA handicap required.

Entry fee includes 18 holes of golf, power cart, range balls, a delicious lunch and some fabulous prizes.

For more information or to register, call the Two Eagles pro shop at 250-768-0080.

Thank you Two Eagles for hosting this awesome event! Thanks golfers for your support!

Buy an ice cream, support the Kelowna Women's Shelter!

In the middle of summer it doesn't get better than this: for the entire month of August, when you buy a scoop of freshly-made ice cream at JOEY Kelowna, $1 goes to the Kelowna Women's Shelter.

That's right- buy an ice cream and give back to the Shelter at the same time! It's win win!

It's a new initiative called Scoop of Care, part of the JOEY Restaurants Cup of Care philanthropy program. This month, $1 from each scoop of spun daily ice cream will be donated to a local charity or cause in each community, as chosen by JOEY employees.

We're so thankful that that wonderful employees at JOEY Kelowna named us as their charity of choice!

"Scoop of Care was created from our employees' feedback and desire to find more ways to give back to their respective communities," said Jeff Fuller, owner and CEO of JOEY Restaurants.

"At JOEY Restaurants, we are passionate about empowering our communities and making sure they are provided with the necessary resources to be set-up for success."

There is still lots of time left to enjoy some delicious ice cream and give back in the process-- visit JOEY Kelowna at 2475 Hwy 97N, near Hwy 33. Or get more information here.

The Kelowna Women's Shelter uses funds from community initiatives to support various services for women in need including housing, food, clothing and counselling. We couldn't do what we do without your support-- thanks again JOEY Kelowna!

If you want to donate $10 now-- text SHELTER to 20222.

Tickets on sale for charity golf tournament

Calling all golfers! Tickets are now on sale for the 2nd annual Flaman Fitness and Kelowna Women's Shelter Golf Tournament on Friday, September 9. 

Last year's inaugural tournament was a huge success and we hope to do it again, raising over $40,000 for local women in need.

Join us for nine holes of golf, a gourmet dinner, entertainment and lots of great prizes at the beautiful Two Eagles Golf Course in West Kelowna. 

Tickets are $85 for golf and dinner. Space is limited, so reserve a spot while you can! 

For more information or to register, please contact Richard or Susan Templin at 250-462-0099 or r.s.templin@shaw.ca. You can also contact Crystal Flaman at 250-215-2903.

We can't wait to see you there. Thanks so much for your support!

Not a golfer, but interested in supporting the Kelowna Women's Shelter? Text SHELTER to 20222 to donate $10 now. 

Coming up-- Downtown Kelowna Block Party

It's that time of year again, time to visit us downtown and celebrate summer at the Downtown Kelowna Block Party!

On Saturday, July 23, join the Kelowna Women's Shelter for some fun, food, friends and shopping.

Bernard Avenue will be blocked off from Richter St. to Abbott St. and lined with over 100 vendors, including the Shelter.

We'll be there with important information along with some great activities for kids.

We love being part of the awesome Kelowna community, hope to see you there!

For more information visit www.downtownkelowna.com.

There are so many ways to give back to the Kelowna Women's Shelter and local women in need. Text SHELTER to 20222 to donate $10 now.

Coming up: The True Fitness Challenge

Calling all Okanagan fitness buffs! Coming up on July 2-3, take part in The True Fitness Challenge in support of the Kelowna Women's Shelter.

The competition will feature fitness skills, a modelling competition and an obstacle course. It's all part of the Kelowna Fitness Expo happening at the Rotary Centre for the Arts and Prospera Place.

Compete as an individual, as a team, or both. Enter one event or all three!

The True Fitness Challenge is open to men and women of all fitness levels. Win up to $500 cash. 

Proceeds from the competition will go to the Kelowna Women's Shelter.

For tickets and more information, visit www.kelownafitnessexpo.com. 

Football players offer support

On Saturday, June 18 members of the Okanagan Sun Football Club and representatives of the Kiwanis Club of Kelowna Summit offered their time and energy doing yard work for the Kelowna Women's Shelter.

Team members and coach Mike Botterill spent the morning doing some serious weeding and now our yard looks better than ever!

Sadly, every year a number of professional athletes make headlines for domestic violence. It's wonderful to know the young men in our community are instead dedicating their time to being positive role models and supporting women in need. 

Thank you for setting such a great example!

As always, we are very grateful for your hard work and support. Thanks, Kiwanis and Okanagan Sun.

Thanks BMO for your Day of Caring!

On Tuesday, an enthusiastic team of volunteers from BMO came to the Kelowna Women's Shelter for an afternoon of yard work.

The group did gardening, staining, sweeping, cleaning and various repairs around the shelter. It was all part of the Day of Caring campaign, sponsored by the United Way.

United Way Day of Caring is an agency-focused event that connects volunteers to local non-profit organizations and promotes volunteerism through community service.

For more information on how you can take part, click here.

Thank you again United Way and BMO! We really appreciate your support!

Shelter takes part in Fat Cat Children's Festival

Come be a cat with the Kelowna Women's Shelter at the upcoming Fat Cat Children's Festival on June 10 and 11 at Waterfront Park.

This year marks the 26th edition of the fun-filled family event. The theme this year is "Fat Cat is... the Okanagan Explorer." We dress up as cats each year, so put on your favourite cat costume and come take part!

The festival is packed with activities, education booths and crafts for kids. There will also be a full day of stage performances and street performers!

The Kelowna Women's Shelter will have a craft table set up from 8:30 a.m.- 2 p.m. on Friday, June 10. On Saturday, check out the parade on Cawston Avenue from 10-11:30 a.m. 

Weekend admission is $5 per person or $15 for a family of four. For more information visit fatcatfestival.ca. 

Royal LePage donates $8700 to the Kelowna Women's Shelter

Royal LePage Kelowna has made a generous donation to the Kelowna Women's Shelter in the form of a cheque for nearly $9000.

In 2015, local realtors donated part of their commissions to the Royal LePage Shelter Foundation and held fundraising events throughout the year. On Friday, broker/ owner, Wade Webb, broker/ manager, Dave Favell and Michael Loewen of Royal LePage Kelowna presented a cheque to Karen Mason, executive director of the Kelowna Women's Shelter.

Violence against women is a significant problem in communities all across Canada. It is estimated that 360,000 children witness family violence in any given year. The funds donated by Royal LePage will help greatly in ensuring women and children have a safe haven at the Kelowna Women's Shelter along with access to various support and assistance programs.

The Royal LePage Shelter Foundation is Canada’s largest public foundation dedicated exclusively to supporting women’s shelters and ending violence against women and children. Every dollar raised goes directly to helping the more than 30,000 women and children who are served each year by shelters and support programs in Canada.

Since 1998, the Shelter Foundation has raised more than $20 million and currently supports 200 local women’s shelters.

Thank you so much, Royal LePage! We couldn't do what we do without community partners like you!

Perogies postponed!

An annual perogy eating contest in support of the Kelowna Women's Shelter has been postponed until September.

Kelowna restaurant Barb's Delights was scheduled to hold its sixth annual perogy eating contest on May 28th, but the contest has been rescheduled.

In past contests, winners have scarfed down up to 35 perogies in just 20 minutes.

An exact date for the new perogy eating contest is still to be determined. We will keep you posted!

Thanks to those who were planning to take part--- we'll see you in September!

Everyone can play a role in helping end violence

This week the Kelowna Women's Shelter is marking Prevention of Violence Against Women Week. As part of its efforts to focus attention on the ongoing issue of intimate partner violence, and galvanize the community to take action to help prevent it, the Kelowna Women’s Shelter submitted this article to local media.

It’s not news that intimate partner violence is an ongoing problem in our society.

Half of all women in Canada have experienced at least one incident of physical or sexual assault since the age of 16, and approximately every six days, a woman in this country is killed by her intimate partner.  In Kelowna, which has a range of resources available to victims, including a dedicated RCMP Integrated Domestic Violence Unit, we hold the dubious distinction of being the domestic violence capital of BC, with the highest number of reported incidents.

For the past 36 years, Kelowna Women’s Shelter has offered emergency and transitional housing, counselling, support, education and a fresh start to women and their children who have experienced domestic violence and abuse. Each year we house about 200 women and children, and provide more than a thousand individual and group counselling sessions. 

Our services are free, and well used. And while just over half our budget is funded through the provincial government, we count on generous individual and organizational support to fund the rest.

People in the community often ask how they can help. Here are some suggestions:

Volunteer – Volunteers are the lifeblood of the Kelowna Women’s Shelter, and we couldn’t do what we do without them. Whether you want to sort and price donations at our Thrift Store, provide administrative support or do child care at the Shelter, serve on our board of directors, or staff events in the community, we’d love to hear from you. 

Donate Now – Your donations of money, and goods and services, support a range of valuable programs and services which help women and their children find safe haven and move into a life free of abuse. Tax receipts are available for donations of $20 or more, and you can donate online through our website at kelownawomensshelter.ca.

Leave a Legacy – Planned giving allows you to support Kelowna Women’s Shelter in the form of a direct bequest in your will, or through a gift to our Central Okanagan Foundation endowment fund. This is a great option for those who want to make a difference for years to come without depleting their current assets. Through planned giving you can also benefit from reduced income or estate taxes when you die, and support the Shelter in addition to your heirs. For a copy of our planned giving package, call 778-478-7774.

Violence against women is a men's issue

This week the Kelowna Women's Shelter is marking Prevention of Violence Against Women Week. As part of its efforts to focus attention on the ongoing issue of intimate partner violence, and galvanize the community to take action to help prevent it, the Kelowna Women’s Shelter submitted this article to local media.

When it comes to violence against women, too often the most-asked question is “Why doesn’t she leave?”, when we should be asking “Why does he hurt her?”

To suggest it is a woman’s fault or responsibility when the man who has committed to cherish and respect her chooses instead to strike, manipulate, control, or otherwise abuse her is wrong, and indicates a serious lack of education about a complex and nuanced issue.

There are a host of reasons women stay in abusive relationships. One that people rarely consider is love – the victim loves her partner and has made a commitment to work at keeping the relationship together. 

One of the most powerful emotions that comes into play in a woman’s decision to stay with her abuser is fear. Fear of having no place else to go or live. Fear she will not be able to get a job and support herself and her children. Fear that if she leaves, her abuser will follow through on threats to hurt her pets, her children and other family members, and her. Fear that nobody will believe her story. Fear of how friends and family will react. Fear she will never be good enough to be loved by someone else. 

But whatever a woman’s reasons for not leaving an abusive partner, what matters more is the role men can, and should play, in putting an end to male violence against women.

We are fortunate to have countless good men in our community. Men who sponsor and participate in events that raise money for Kelowna Women’s Shelter. Men who volunteer their time, energy and expertise to fix a fence, paint a wall or do other odd jobs around the Shelter. Men who volunteer at our Thrift Store. They are realtors, bankers, accountants, labourers, and entrepreneurs. They are young and they are old. Whether through their business, their service club or on their own time, many good men choose to do their part to end intimate partner violence by supporting the Shelter in a variety of ways.

They, and others, also do their part by standing up against the societal and cultural norms that continue to support a world that objectifies and diminishes women, both of which contribute to a culture of abuse. These men refuse to support the sex industry, they step up and speak out when other men speak disrespectfully of women, and they set an example for other men, and boys, in their circle. 

These men, and men like them everywhere, deserve to be celebrated. Yet sadly, they represent the tiniest drop in a very large bucket. There are still too many men out there who don’t get it. And there is still much work to be done to create a world where people treat each other with respect, and there is truly zero tolerance for intimate partner violence and the attitudes which allow it to flourish. 

This Prevention of Violence Against Women Week we urge all men to show their respect and admiration for humanity by taking a stand against intimate partner violence.

How will you be part of the solution?

Real impact of abuse trauma widely misunderstood

This week the Kelowna Women's Shelter is marking Prevention of Violence Against Women Week. As part of its efforts to focus attention on the ongoing issue of intimate partner violence, and galvanize the community to take action to help prevent it, the Kelowna Women’s Shelter submitted this article to local media.

The recent, high profile trial, and subsequent acquittal, of former CBC broadcaster Jian Ghomeshi on four charges of sexual assault and one of choking has shone a long overdue spotlight on how victims of violence respond to trauma.

Throughout the proceedings, the complainants were accused of lying and withholding information. In his ruling, the judge spoke of the victims being “deceptive”, and of their lack of “reliability” and “credibility”. 

Anyone who has worked closely with people who have experienced sexual assault or other forms of intimate partner violence knows reactions to trauma are varied, unpredictable, and often completely different than people, and the system, expect.

In the wake of an assault, victims may feel shame, panic, humiliation, grief, guilt, depression and anxiety. They may question themselves and their memories of the abuse. They may pretend it didn’t happen at all as a way to lessen the trauma response. They may make up, or make nice, with the abuser because they don’t want to be seen as a bad person, or as a misguided way of fixing things, or normalizing something that is far from normal.

And when it comes to victims effectively telling their story, in a courtroom or elsewhere, the reality is that trauma affects memory. Victims of trauma are sometimes unable to express an articulate narrative because the brain tends to hone in on only the most essential details of what occurred. When victims later try to string together the full story of what happened, the details are inaccurate, often not recalled in a lot of detail, and may change from telling to telling.

Too often, when women report an assault, their absolutely natural, post-traumatic inability to relay details of what happened in a manner that satisfies the strict consistency and credibility requirements set by a system that just doesn’t get it, sets them up for failure from the outset.

Which helps explain why assaults are so underreported, and convictions so few. Studies show half of Canadian women have experienced physical or sexual assault. Yet fewer than one in 10 report a sexual assault to police. And although there are about half a million self-reported sexual assaults each year in Canada, in 2006, there were only a little more than 1,500 convictions.

Women who experience sexual and other assaults say they don’t report because they fear reprisal, re-victimization, stigmatization and a justice system that will not help them. 

In the wake of the Ghomeshi trial, those barriers no doubt loom larger than ever for any woman considering reporting an assault, something which takes incredible strength and bravery to do. 

Even if it doesn’t increase the confidence of victims to come forward, one can only hope, at the very least, the discussion and debate sparked by the trial increases public education about the need for more trauma-informed practices at every level of the policing and judicial systems.

Prevention of Violence Against Women Week- Apr. 18-22

The Kelowna Women's Shelter is honouring Prevention of Violence Against Women Week April 18-22. The week is an opportunity to raise awareness about domestic violence and learn about support options available to women within your community. Half of all women in Canada have experienced at least one incident of physical or sexual violence since the age of 16. And if that statistic isn't alarming enough, approximately every six days a woman in Canada is killed by her intimate partner. The only way to reverse these trends is to talk openly about the problem of domestic violence and to offer support to women experiencing abuse. At the Kelowna Women's Shelter, we provide confidential counselling 24-hours-a-day, 7-days-a-week. We also offer shelter and transitional services for women and children who have experienced abuse as well as educational programs within the Okanagan community. Visit kelownawomensshelter.com for more information.

National Volunteer Week- April 10-16

Next week is National Volunteer Week in Canada and we want to take the opportunity to thank all of our amazing volunteers!

Volunteers are the roots of strong communities. Towns and cities across the country grow more resilient each day thanks to the time and efforts of Canada's 12.7 million volunteers. National Volunteer Week, April 10-16, is an opportunity to recognize their hard-work and thank them for the difference they make.

At the Kelowna Women's Shelter, we have roughly 300 volunteers who dedicate time throughout the year. They do everything from childcare and administration work to special events and social media. We honestly couldn't do what we do at the shelter without their help and support. Thank you so much!

If you're interested in volunteering, we'd love to hear from you. Whether you can give two hours every week or two hours once a year-- every bit makes a difference.

Call our volunteer coordinator for more information- 250-763-1040. Click here for our volunteer application form.

Thank you again to all of the incredible people who donate time and energy to the Kelowna Women's Shelter.

Visit Volunteer Canada for more information about National Volunteer Week.

International Women's Day- March 8

International Women's Day is coming up on Tuesday March 8, an annual global celebration of women and the fight for gender equality.

The first event of its kind was celebrated in 1911, since then, the day has grown to include thousands of activities and celebrations around the world. 

The theme of International Women's Day 2016 is #PledgeForParity.

While women continue to contribute socially, economically, culturally and politically, gender parity continues to be a struggle.

In addition to events taking place across Canada, men and women are invited to take an online pledge to help close the gap between the sexes.  

Click here to get more information about International Women's Day and how you can get involved. 

Okanagan Kids Care provides active fun & sound sleep to shelter clients

Thanks to the generosity of Okanagan Kids Care, children who use the services of Kelowna Women’s Shelter will have access to new bicycles, mattresses and playpens.

“Bikes represent fun, freedom, and fresh air, so much of what’s good about being a child,” points out executive director Karen Mason. “Cycling is also a healthy outdoor activity that children can participate in their whole lives. After a busy day that includes cycling, a child needs a good night’s sleep, and a good mattress is a great way to ensure the kids in our care get the rest they need and awake feeling refreshed and rejuvenated.”

Okanagan Kids Care donated $6,594 to the Kelowna Women's Shelter in February.

"The Okanagan Kids Care Fund Society is pleased to provide funding to the Kelowna Women's Shelter. The items purchased with these funds will enhance the quality of life of the children accessing the services of the Kelowna Women's Shelter," says Susan Patterson, Kids Care board member.

The Kelowna Women’s Shelter is in its 35th year serving the community. The Shelter provides emergency transitional housing, counselling and other support and education programs for women and their children who have experienced abuse. 

Thank you again, Okanagan Kids Care- we're lucky to have your support!

Pink Shirt Day- February 24th

The important Pink Shirt Day is coming up in just a few weeks, don't forget to wear your pink!

Pink Shirt Day is a day when everyone is encouraged to wear something pink to stand up to bullying in our schools, workplaces, communities and online. 

The original Pink Shirt Day was organized by two teenage boys in Nova Scotia who distributed 50 pink shirts after a fellow male student was bullied for wearing pink on the first day of school. Since then, Pink Shirt Day has become an anti-bullying movement recognized and celebrated worldwide.

This year's Pink Shirt Day takes place on Wednesday, February 24. So wear a pink shirt or pin and show your community you're standing up to bullying!

Proceeds from official Pink Shirt Day t-shirts, pins and buttons, as well as all donations, go directly to anti-bullying initiatives that directly help youth in need.

Find out more information about Pink Shirt Day, its history and related events here.