Saturday, December 14, 2013

The Shoe Story - posted by Kathleen Lemieux

Part of my role at the shelter is to create awareness about the issue of family violence and about the shelter and our services.  In doing this, I often go out into the community and share true stories about our clients and our work.  I gather these stories first hand and from our counsellors and staff.  This is a short story Laura Banman, our shelter’s Program and Staffing Manager, told me.  I’ll never forget it because not once has it ever failed to move me. I think of it as the ‘Shoe Story’. 

Katie is one of our clients.  When she arrived with her children, Danny and Emma, they immediately were busy – not checking out the playroom or what TV channels we had, but finding hiding places and mapping out escape routes for when ‘he’ showed up, because they were positive that he would, and they knew from experience that it was important to be prepared.  Much as we tried to reassure them that the Shelter was a safe place, they were unconvinced.  When bedtime came the first night, they were okay with putting on pajamas, but they were adamant they needed to sleep with their shoes on because last time he found them in the middle of the night and they were forced to flee barefoot in the darkness. 

The Shelter provided safety and support for Katie, Danny and Emma.  They were able to access counselling services and received referrals to the resources they needed.  The children learned that they were not alone, that the abuse was not their fault and that they could be safe.  Katie and the children were given the opportunity for a new life, free from abuse.  This is the story of just one of the many families we were able to help. 



Tuesday, December 03, 2013

Will Santa know where we are?

There is no time of year when it is “easy” to leave an abusive relationship, however perhaps the most difficult time to leave the comforts of home and all your possessions is during the Christmas season – a time when images of good will and family togetherness are everywhere and expectations for a lovely and loving holiday season are high.  Regardless of socio-economic status, women accessing Shelter services generally do not have access to financial resources and, because of safety concerns, do not have the option of spending time with family. 

It isn’t hard to imagine how this time of year would immeasurably increase stress for mom’s who have left an abusive relationship and are accessing Shelter services.  They arrive frightened, heartbroken, and facing an uncertain future – and Christmas is right around the corner.  As moms struggle to deal with the emotional aftermath of the violence and abuse and make decisions and plans for a better future, a child’s biggest concern is often “Will Santa know where we are so he can bring our presents?”

Thankfully, there is a strong commitment within the Shelter and within our community to making Christmas the best it can be for women and children accessing Shelter services.  There are decorations, music, photographers offering free Christmas portraits, a steady stream of food and gifts arriving at the door, generous hampers for those establishing new households, and Christmas party fun for all!  Thanks to the generosity of First Baptist Church, who regularly provide space for a variety of Shelter client and volunteer events throughout the year, a venue is available for both a women’s Christmas party and a mom’s and children’s Christmas party.

The annual Children’s Christmas Party in mid –December is a highlight of the year for many.  All of the mothers and children who have accessed Shelter services in the past year are invited to enjoy games, face painting, cookie decorating, snacks, gifts, a magic show and a very special visit from Santa Claus. The children are also given an opportunity to choose and wrap a gift for their mothers. They take such great care picking out something special .We  are expecting over 120 children and 90 mothers/care providers to attend the party.  Our team of hard working "elves" do their very best to make each and every one of our guests feel valued and special. We are very grateful to our main sponsor, Royal LePage, whose generosity makes this wonderful event possible. The Realtors from RLP purchase the majority of gifts for the party and about 50 volunteers make sure the gifts are all wrapped beautifully for the big day.

The second Christmas party is the Women’s party, once again, thanks to generous community support.  Sunrise Rotary club prepares and serves a wonderful holiday meal with all the fixings.  There are games and music and entertainment and gifts – for some women the only gift they will receive.

The desire to help others and a giving spirit shows that the holidays really do bring out the best in people – staff, volunteers, community groups and individuals – all working together to help to create a new Christmas ‘normal’ for both women and children.. The shelter’s holiday events help our clients through a very difficult time of transition and we are grateful to all those who play a part in making this all happen.